On March 5th, 2015 at roughly half-past midnight I saw a faint vertical line on that lovely thing called a pee stick, or if you aren’t familiar, a pregnancy test. I remember the butterflies I felt as I watched the stopwatch on my phone counting down those three minutes, and the uncertainty as I peered over the countertop to read it. The thing is, when I first read it I couldn’t tell if my eyes were playing tricks on me or not.
A week before, I had taken another test, just because I had that feeling that I was pregnant. It was a week before my period was due, but I figured what the hell let’s take it anyway. Low and behold, it was negative; but I just knew it was wrong. So fast forward one week to the exact date my period should have arrived, and there I was squinting at the world’s faintest blue line. But if it’s there, it’s there, right?
Well, in person it was fainter, but you get the idea.
Tyler, miles away in Minneapolis, must have sensed my inner joy/panic because precisely thirty minutes later he FaceTimed me- no prior text or call (I planned on waiting to tell him in person when I saw him that weekend). If you know me, you know I cannot lie. And by cannot I mean can. not. lie. So, I answer, my expression all smiles when I see him. How could I not looking at his sweet, unknowing, grin as he calls just to “talk” shortly after 1 o’clock in the morning? (If God didn’t send him some sort of message to check up on me I don’t know who did). Of course, I can’t hide anything from him so he immediately asks me what is up. Laughing, I debate in my head if I should tell him or not, but this just clues him in farther that something is in fact, up.
Well, I go for it. I reach across to my nightstand, which is now home to the pee-stick after it required further inspection under my lamp light, and show him on the screen. His reaction is priceless.
Just pure happiness. It’s hard for me to not get emotional as I sit here, 30 weeks along in my pregnancy, hormonal and thankful, that he reacted so well. He gasped and was immediately asking if I was serious. The disbelief and excitement was unreal, and frankly the both of us were all smiles as we went on and on about how we couldn’t believe it and if it was really happening. I apologized for not telling him in person, explaining that I wanted to but he was so happy I did. He immediately asked if he could run upstairs and wake up his brother and tell him the good news.
Here, we debated if we should wait the full twelve weeks to tell anyone, blah blah blah. I wanted to take another test- digital next time- to confirm before we told anyone. Tyler agreed that he would drive down that weekend so we could confirm and then I would let him tell his brother, and both our parents. Fast forward to the weekend, two digital tests later and yes, we are indeed having a baby.
Was I ever upset reading a positive result? I must say, no, I wasn’t. For being twenty years old, still in college, and unmarried, I think I took it pretty well. Granted, when I initially read the test I smiled and was excited. Ten minutes later, I was teary-eyed, panicky, and anxious. What about school? What will my parents say? Am I ready for this? Glancing between that test and my then-flat-tummy, it was really hard to find anything negative about it. I knew God would guide me and our situation in a way where it would work out, and that I was so lucky to have a boyfriend was supportive and excited about it.
So that night, hours after FaceTiming with Tyler about how glad we were to become parents together, I smiled as I fell asleep and officially, consciously, entered my journey into motherhood.